July 24th, 2010
Receiving a diagnosis of cancer can be very stressful and frustrating. Even if the diagnosis was first made some time ago, with few exceptions the cancer has been in remission, you have come to terms with living with cancer and also with death, the stress and frustration remains. There is also a certain amount of anger that may be an underlying emotion.
Dealing with the stress, the frustration, the anger, is often more difficult than dealing with the diagnosis, the tests, and the uncertainties that often accompany the diagnosis of cancer.
Although it is difficult to deal with these emotions, it is something we must do in order to avoid addiction. Even if we do not return to what was the drug of choice, the stress, frustration, and anger, when not addressed, often lead to some form of cross addiction, frequently abusing the medication we might have.
By abusing medication, or something else, the cancer may be put on the “back burner.” But only temporarily. Because when we come down from the high, the diagnosis, the stress, the frustration, the anger, all remain. These are issues that must be addressed in a more permanent manner, in a manner that does not result in addiction as an attempt to cope.
Tags: addiction, anger, cancer, cross addiction, frustration, stress
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May 28th, 2010
When we are very sick, so sick that hospitalization and surgery is required and we are told we might die, this creates a great deal of stress. At this point in time, when we are undergoing so much stress, turning to some form of addictive behavior may seem to be our only option.
The term “option reduction” has been used to characterize one of the stages of the relapse process. We feel that we have run out of options so we turn to some form of addiction.
What we must do is learn to create options, to keep many options available, and then choose the best of those options. If we are always able to have options available and choose the best of those, then the chances of addiction becoming a fact of our life decreases. In fact, doing so may help us negate the relapse process, by moving away from a relapse instead of towards one.
This stress not only effects the person who is suffering from a sickness, but also effects family members, caregivers, the people close to the individual who is sick. These people also need to be aware of the hazards of extreme stress and how it can effect us.
Stress, to varying degrees, is a fact of life, and we must take the steps necessary to minimize the negative effects it might have upon us.
Tags: addiction, option reduction, options, relapse, sickness, stress
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April 30th, 2010
When we attempt to do something and we are not successful, we can become frustrated. The same occurs when we expect, and hope, that something will happen, and it does not.
How we deal with frustration(s), or do not deal with frustration, is crucial in our desire to maintain sobriety, our desire to not start functioning as a dry drunk or a wet drunk. If we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by frustration, by anger, we focus on nothing else but the emotion, the failure, perhaps a perceived failure on our part. When this happens, we may start acting as a dry drunk. We may be looking at very little other than the negative emotion, the failure, and this negativity becomes the focus of our lives. In an attempt to alleviate this negativity, we may start to abuse some substance. While we are “high” we may indeed feel better, but we will always come down off the high, come back to earth where we will find the negativity that remains because it was never addressed.
If we focus on the negative, we will find the negative. If we focus on and work towards the positive we will find the positive. That must be the goal if we wish to prevent some form of addiction from being a part of our lives. Change is not always easy, but it must occur, and it is not something we can always do by ourselves. We have friends that will help us. We may need a support group of some type. We must be willing to do what is necessary to prevent addiction from being a part of our lives.
Tags: addiction, emotion, failure, frustration, negative, positive, support
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March 31st, 2010
A person with a disability, whatever it might be, may be prone to addiction, especially if the occurrence of that disability is relatively recent and the person has not yet come to terms with it. Being disabled can result in numerous emotions, such as anger, fear, and frustration.
A person may just “give up” and turn to addiction, whatever the addictive behavior(s) might be, as a method of coping with the unpleasant emotions. Dealing with any change, such as a sudden disability, can be very difficult to do. A drastic change forces us to step outside the box, outside of our comfort zone, and away from a lifestyle that is comfortable and familiar.
The difficulty we have addressing the change and the emotions associated with it, is what can result in addiction, and is why we need to take steps to prevent this from occurring. Although we may turn to some substance in order to continue coping, the emotions themselves can be addictive.
That is why it might be necessary to attend groups such as Emotions Anonymous, or a similar type activity, to address the underlying issues, instead of what is superficial and most obvious.
We need to address the motivation that leads us to perform the addictive behavior, whatever it may be. Although addictive behaviors may cause physiological changes, we must search for and address the root cause(s) of the addictive behaviors, the underlying issues.
Tags: addiction, change, coping, emotions, motivation, underlying issues
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February 28th, 2010
Resentments play a major role in the addictive process. A resentment may also be referred to as a grudge. If we have a resentment(s) then we are allowing a person to “rent space” in our heads. We are allowing this because we choose to continue to carry the resentment with us. An attempt is not made to rid ourselves of it.
Alcoholics Anonymous, the first of the 12 step programs, and the one upon which all others are modeled, refers to resentments as “the number one offender.”
According to many recovering individuals, resentments, anger, and grudges, more than anything else, result in active addiction or relapse into some form of substance abuse. However, the active addiction, the relapse, need not be associated with a specific drug. Any behavior can be addictive. By leaving the resentments unresolved, we may fall deep into the hole of addiction.
If resentments are blocking our path, we must take them off the road. It is only when we choose to address the resentments, why they exist, and what we are doing to maintain them as active, that we will be able to avoid addiction or relapse.
As we walk the recovery process, it is not enough to address resentments once, and then forget what we have done. Life is a series of events, good and bad, that will almost certainly result in the occurrence of resentments at some point in the future. So it is necessary to remember what we did in the past, do it again or modify our approach if need be, so that we continue to deal with resentments that may arise.
Tags: addiction, recovery, relapse, resentments
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January 31st, 2010
Being in debt can be very stressful. Always having to worry about how we are going to pay the bills is not pleasant. The reason we are in debt (such as unemployment or too much use of credit cards, for example) is not so much the issue.
The issue, the problem, is the debt itself. The stress that comes when we realize what we owe and that we are unable or will have great difficulty paying it. This stress can frequently lead to substance use or abuse. This may be an unconscious attempt to forget about the problem. But the problem still exists when we “come down” from the high.
An attempt to escape is not the solution. It is necessary to deal with the problem, the debt, however unpleasant that may be. Unless and until we are willing to deal with the problems in our lives (debt or other) the stress remains, and the likelihood that we will use addiction, act in an addictive manner, increases.
Tags: addiction, debt, escape, stress, substance use
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December 31st, 2009
Taking a vacation is (hopefully) an enjoyable experience. It can also be a stressful one. Just as unpleasant or unfortunate events can cause us stress, so can the pleasant ones, like a vacation. I have heard people say they
thoroughly enjoyed the vacation but are glad it is over, because always having to be “on” for friends and/or relatives is tiring and stressful.
There are times when not being able to deal with this stress, or the people that “cause” it, can result in our turning to addictive behaviors as a method of coping with the stress. And it is not always the stress. Sometimes
people feel that they deserve it, that they now have the right to engage in the chosen addictive behavior. It may that we cannot cope with the situation, or that we make excuses. Either way, we turn to addictive behavior. We become and act like a dry drunk.
We may feel we need a break, that we need a vacation. So we take a vacation. That is fine. That does not mean that addictive behaviors, that acting as a dry drunk, need be part of that break or vacation. Nor does it mean that we need to make excuses.
We need to learn to learn the coping skills that will enable us to better deal with the expected, the unexpected, the pleasant, and the unpleasant.
We have all had to deal with the good and the bad. That is life. We need to learn to deal with those things in a manner that is not detrimental to ourselves or to others.
Tags: addiction, behavior, coping skills, dry drunk, excuses, stress, vacations
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December 17th, 2009
Loss, and how we deal, or do not deal, with it, plays a major role in addiction and in recovery.
A loss may be real or perceived. While always psychological, there may also be physical and/or social losses.
Addiction is almost always an attempt to fill the void left by that loss with some behavior, activity, that is addictive in nature. We hope this behavior will make us feel better. And it may indeed do just that. But only for a relatively short period of time. The problem, the loss, will always return, and we return to the addictive behavior to avoid that loss.
Recovery is the process of dealing with the loss without turning to any addictive behavior. Whenever there is a loss, we grieve it. Dealing with grief, with a loss, is a process that takes us from initial anger to final acceptance. It is only when we deal with and accept the loss that we can go on living a good and healthy life.
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December 1st, 2009
PAWS, also known as Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, is often a major factor when a person relapses. The symptoms of PAWS can cause a person to think he/she is going “crazy,” is just losing it. And as a result, they frequently relapse if they are unable to deal with the PAWS issues.
There are six basic types of PAWS symptoms, each of which can be further broken down and discussed. The basic symptoms are: 1 – an inability to think very clearly, 2 – memory problems, 3 – emotional overreaction or emotional numbness, 4 – disturbances of sleep, 5 – physical coordination issues, 6 – sensitivity to stress.
When one, or more, of these symptoms is present, a person can become greatly distressed, and may turn to addictive behaviors, may relapse, to alleviate that distress.
PAWS is present, to varying degrees, in all recovering persons. It is exhibited in four basic styles: 1 – regenerative (getting better over time), 2 – degenerative (getting worse over time), 3 – stable (no great changes), 4 – intermittent (comes and goes). The time it takes to overcome PAWS can vary greatly, and the degree to which it will be eventually be eliminated is determined, to a large extent, by the amount of damage a person has done to their mind, their body.
Tags: addiction, coordination, emotion, memory, PAWS, recovery, relapse, sleep, stress, thought
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November 19th, 2009
It is not at all pleasant when a friend passes away. It does not matter how long the person had been ill, how well “prepared” we might be for the death. It is, nevertheless, stressful.
What then becomes a crucial is how we cope with an issue, such as loss. Whenever someone close passes away, there is a loss; there is a vacant space in your mind, your heart.
We can cope with the death, the loss, in one of two ways. One way is to face the loss, and deal with it. This is the preferred method, and there are five basic stages to it: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is a process, and the length of time it takes varies with the individual involved.
Or, we can choose to avoid dealing with the issue, the loss, attempt to escape from something we might perceive as unpleasant. This is what is done by the dry drunk. It involves the use of some addictive behavior. An attempt is made to fill the void left by the loss, the death, with the behavior(s), instead of facing the reality of what has occurred, no matter how unpleasant that reality may be.
Tags: addiction, avoidance, coping skills, death, dry drunk, escape, loss, reality
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