Posts Tagged ‘dry drunk’

Vacations and Addiction

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

Taking a vacation is (hopefully) an enjoyable experience.  It can also be a stressful one.  Just as unpleasant or unfortunate events can cause us stress, so can the pleasant ones, like a vacation.  I have heard people say they
thoroughly enjoyed the vacation but are glad it is over, because always having to be “on” for friends and/or relatives is tiring and stressful.

There are times when not being able to deal with this stress, or the people that “cause” it, can result in our turning to addictive behaviors as a method of coping with the stress.  And it is not always the stress.  Sometimes
people feel that they deserve it, that they now have the right to engage in the chosen addictive behavior.  It may that we cannot cope with the situation, or that we make excuses.  Either way, we turn to addictive behavior.  We become and act like a dry drunk.

We may feel we need a break, that we need a vacation.  So we take a vacation.  That is fine.  That does not mean that addictive behaviors, that acting as a dry drunk, need be part of that break or vacation.  Nor does it mean that we need to make excuses.

We need to learn to learn the coping skills that will enable us to better deal with the expected, the unexpected, the pleasant, and the unpleasant.

We have all had to deal with the good and the bad.  That is life.  We need to learn to deal with those things in a manner that is not detrimental to ourselves or to others.

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Death and Addiction

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

It is not at all pleasant when a friend passes away.  It does not matter how long the person had been ill, how well “prepared” we might be for the death.  It is, nevertheless, stressful.

What then becomes a crucial is how we cope with an issue, such as loss.  Whenever someone close passes away, there is a loss;  there is a vacant space in your mind, your heart.

We can cope with the death, the loss, in one of two ways.  One way is to face the loss, and deal with it.  This is the preferred method, and there are five basic stages to it:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  This is a process, and the length of time it takes varies with the individual involved.

Or, we can choose to avoid dealing with the issue, the loss, attempt to escape from something we might perceive as unpleasant.  This is what is done by the dry drunk.  It involves the use of some addictive behavior.  An attempt is made to fill the void left by the loss, the death, with the behavior(s), instead of facing the reality of what has occurred, no matter how unpleasant that reality may be.

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Relapse

Monday, April 13th, 2009

A person cannot relapse unless he has been sober.  The person may return to the use of acohol or their drug of choice, but unless that person has been sober, this cannot be considered a relapse.

There are many people who do stop abusing alcohol or drugs, but simply transfer the addictive thought process to another behavior, such as gambling or shopping;  they have never achieved sobriety.  All they have done is alter their behavior, changing from one compulsive behavior (substance use/abuse) to another (gambling/shopping).  The same time and energy that was devoted to substance abuse related issues is not devoted to that other behavior.

Most of those who were abusing alcohol and or drugs, and have stopped doing so, do consider it a relapse when they return to the use/abuse of their drug of choice.  Other behaviors are not taken into consideration.  Working through the recovery process involves examining and eliminating all compulsive behaviors, not simply alcohol or drugs.

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Compulsion

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Obsession (last post) is a thought process.  Compulsion is the behavior, the act, that is exhibited as a result of the irresistible and persistent impulse to perform that given act.

The compulsive behaviors of a Dry Drunk are generally addictive in nature, going to extremes, doing whatever is needed to achieve that behavior.  The Dry Drunk tends to view the world as either black or white;  there is no middle ground, no grays.  This worldview is what causes problems for the individual.  It is what differentiates him from other people who do not exhibit addictive behaviors.  They may go to extremes on occasion, but unlike a Dry Drunk, they do not do so with great frequency.

Any behavior can be addictive in nature when carried to extremes.  Gambling, for example, is not addictive when a person buys lottery tickets or goes to Las Vegas on occassion, doing so infrequently.  However, when there is a constant urge to gamble, and the person will do anything to get more lottery tickets or go to Las Vegas more and more frequently, that behavior is problematic.  When taken to an extreme, the urge to gamble followed by the act of gambling can become more important than anything else in a person’s life.

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Obsession

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines obsession as “a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.”

Although the Dry Drunk may no longer be using or abusing any substances, that person is obsessed with something, whatever that something may be.  Thinking about something is normal;  it is the persistence, the preoccupation with that somethingthat is not normal, that can be problematic for the individual.  Just as active addiction to a substance may have detrimental effects in virtually every aspect of a person’s life, the same frequently occurs when they substitute something for their chemical of choice.  Focusing on that something can become a motivating factor in an individual’s life, as motivating as was the need, the desire, the drive, to obtain their drug of choice while in active addiction.

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