Resentments play a major role in the addictive process. A resentment may also be referred to as a grudge. If we have a resentment(s) then we are allowing a person to “rent space” in our heads. We are allowing this because we choose to continue to carry the resentment with us. An attempt is not made to rid ourselves of it.
Alcoholics Anonymous, the first of the 12 step programs, and the one upon which all others are modeled, refers to resentments as “the number one offender.”
According to many recovering individuals, resentments, anger, and grudges, more than anything else, result in active addiction or relapse into some form of substance abuse. However, the active addiction, the relapse, need not be associated with a specific drug. Any behavior can be addictive. By leaving the resentments unresolved, we may fall deep into the hole of addiction.
If resentments are blocking our path, we must take them off the road. It is only when we choose to address the resentments, why they exist, and what we are doing to maintain them as active, that we will be able to avoid addiction or relapse.
As we walk the recovery process, it is not enough to address resentments once, and then forget what we have done. Life is a series of events, good and bad, that will almost certainly result in the occurrence of resentments at some point in the future. So it is necessary to remember what we did in the past, do it again or modify our approach if need be, so that we continue to deal with resentments that may arise.